Poems About Loss Of Loved One

Losing loved ones poems are incredibly moving, there are some poems dating back 200 years which still move people today, there are also some very contemporary poems which have the same effect.

Losing loved ones is always hard and there’s nothing anyone can say which makes it any easier, but it’s not about what other people say to comfort you, it’s about what you say to remember them!

Seriously, you can have the most loving family and the closest friends in the world but whatever they say will not change the way you feel about your loss. Losing loved ones poems on the other hand can bring those emotions to the surface and allow you to share your pain with others, this will help as part of the healing process.

Choosing the right poems can help in many ways, when you read some of the in loving memory poems available, you can often picture your loved one and feel that the poem could have been written for them, this is the sign of a good poem.

In loving memory poems are kind of confusing by definition, are you telling people how you remember the person, saying goodbye or making a tribute to their life?

This is a very important choice and one that has to be made early.

There are no set rules about the kind of in loving memory poems people use, but you need to consider this:

Are you saying goodbye? If you are then how do you say it so that it doesn’t sound final? The most upsetting part of a funeral is when someone makes a statement like “and we shall never see you again” this is just awful, you need to choose something which either leaves it open “You will be with us forever” or “Until I see your smile again” these are open ended farewells which don’t close the door at the end, they seem more positive.

Also, avoid poems which end similar to “until we meet again” this is a time of immense sorrow and the last thing the people in the funeral party need right now is to (A) think about their own mortality (they’re already doing that) and (B) it makes you sound as though you are in a rush to join your departed one, this makes them worry about leaving you on your own.

A celebration of life is always a good idea, create a eulogy about the persons life, share these memories with the people at the funeral service. Once you have shared your feelings go on to a nice poem of life rather than death.

Should you write your own poems?

I wrote a poem for my Mother In Law to put in the papers as a “in memorium” but I had written poetry before, if you have never written poems before then trust me - now isn’t the time to get started. If you do try writing in loving memory poems for someone else you may find it a lot harder than you think, you really have no idea how they want to express themselves or the feeling that they want to share. You might want to get a book of in loving memory poems and go through it with them (for support).

If the family is depending on you to come up with appropriate poems about loss of loved one, then now isn’t the time to try, you could spend days trying to find the right words and in the end you may have nothing to read at the service.

If you want to look at some poems and change them to be more specific to the person who died, that’s a great idea, but take the time to read through a lot of different ones. As you know from past experience, the first thing you choose isn’t always the right one.

There always seems to be a sense of urgency with these things, you need to find an appropriate poem, re-word it to suit, get the family approval and then show it to the person conducting the service so that they make sure that no one else will be reading the same poem (the original).

I have heard a lot of poems over the years which have been written by family members, some of them were ok but others weren’t so good, you also need to remember that if you write it down (must do) that other people can read your writing in case you’re not up to reading it (and check your spelling).

Even though I have written poetry before I think that the safest option is to find a poem which you like and use it, or adapt it to suit the person.

Choosing a poems, especially “poems about loss of loved one” can be very difficult, there are so many things that we want to say, but do you make it personal or generalize it so that everyone knows what you mean?

This is a really tough choice:

When my father in law died this year, my brother in law wanted to say a poem but decided on a eulogy instead, the eulogy was very touching and moved the whole family which was pretty unusual as he’s normally a real pain.

Unfortunately the eulogy was pretty personal, things that he’d done over the years and how he had looked after and supported my brother in law and wife. This made it a little hard for people to visualize him as this person because a lot of them hadn’t met him back then.

But! Even though a number of people couldn’t relate to my brother in laws words “we call them father eulogy poems now” they all felt the love that went into writing it and knew how hard it must have been for him to read it at the service.

And where was I when he was speaking? stood right next to him for moral support. All I had to say was “Don’t rush, take a few deep breaths before you start and read slowly” that was it, he was an absolute star and he would have made his father very proud.

What makes a good poem or eulogy for a father?

You have to remember that a father is usually your role model, we all look up to our fathers for guidance and support throughout our lives. Where do you think the saying “like father like son” originated? It’s because we do tend to imitate our dad’s, this is why a eulogy or poem for the loss of a father can be so gut wrenching, it’s like our idol has died, and in all fairness - he has.

So make it special, pull out all the stops and let the whole world know what the man you idolized was like, just because he’s gone doesn’t mean that you are less proud of him.

A eulogy for a father can start about you! how you saw him, your first joint project (building a tree house) and then take this story all the way up to the present day. Drop in parts about his friends, work colleagues, hobbies, grand children (if appropriate) You really can dig around and put it all in.

This is a celebration of his life, let everyone know how your father lived and what his values taught you.

(dedicated to my brother in law Paul, I never knew you had it in you!)